viernes, 20 de mayo de 2011

Growing up.

Growing up.
(Perceptions of a lifetime)

I remember the times when we were so small and insignificants with our thoughts of a perfect world as we were growing in a peaceful and careless way. Black and white were only colors and not the opposite sides on the same coin lost at the middle of the air after being tossed by god on a weird experimentation about the nature of humanity.

(I’m sick, so what?)

Then it came the time when we were blinded by self pleasure, all of the pity took control and then betrayed the clearest thoughts about perfection. I grinned at the world and made a reverence, all I saw was clowns on a circus of passing time. And when all of the leaves started to follow a demise… I wrapped my heart and left my place amongst the others, loneliness became my only friend in life.

(And yet we were such beauty)

 Under the glow of a heavy moon I pierced my soul by acknowledging my place; all of the colors I saw were mere illusions, the remains of the thoughts at the mind of a kid. All of the passions were together under the same roof as all the sins, money reached out for just a body, a bit of warmth to feel from smooth skin. And after the loss of all the games… one man reached out for some redemption. Gates were closed in the land of god.

(And still I think about tomorrow) 

On a garden so cruelly infested… I raised my hand and decided to walk along, all of the eyes met mine and left a burden, the thorns came along across the words.

 (…Break me, break me and let me go)

 On the corners of my mind I decided to compel my information, all I could gather in order to craft my mask, and while I was searching for some answers… I found my self being cool enough to fool them, but I just felt empty by the inside. Then all of the lights went down inside the theater, the actor was lost and without a place to hide, applauses then became a whisper, the final joke I really couldn’t stand.

(Silence and just that)

 Under the rain I left my memories and emotions, I conserved my name for just in case, then with a step I reached for the bottom, all I always wished was in there.

 (Am I alone?)

 Eyes were closed when the heart stopped beating; I never knew how far I went against the light, all I could remember was the smiling of the darkness, the trembling hand that held on mine, and while I was totally blinded… my eyes still saw a tiny spark. A bunch of fireflies burned in silence, a peaceful fire was burning black.

(An ode to perfection)

I took my time and thought about the nothingness, all that human being embraces between its hands, then again I felt the anger, time was only a waste of life.

 (Under the skin)

Ideals became a whispering memory, the only tragedy left alive inside my brain, all of the voices told me to look over, to go back and search again the place. A tear escaped from my absent eyes while the skin felt as cold as dead, my fingers reached for the fire, I felt nothing but despair. And while unconsciousness won for last the battle… I faded away inside the wind.

(Then I became the dust)

 The warmth of a fire, the pollution growing under my skin, all of the shadows gathering my pieces, reanimation started to believe on a new life. I was there on the boarder of a coast, my eyes were gazing at the sea, the peaceful scenery of the crashing waves… my heart was nothing but a rock awaiting for emotions to come and crash against just like the ocean. I was a living being, but at the same time… I was nothing but a wanderer.

 (But I still exist)

 I woke up in the middle of the nothingness; my eyes could see but wanted to shut. All of the world was a shameful place so full of darkness, the light faded long ago inside the hearts of people and was replaced by true darkness, but in the end… I was the only different in there and that made the odd man out. It’s strange how people grasps the wrong for self convenience and still they call it right, how the light becomes the darkness but  still they call it light even thought they now it’s not, and if somehow you’re different from them… then you become the unholy and the one who’s wrong.  I was there, but at the same time… I wanted to disappear.

(Break me now before I’ll do)

 The world was cold and so the people, a mass of existence only living by inertia, by its convenience and not because they truly wanted, a place polluted by the lies and the wrong conceptions of the joy. I could see it slowly, I could read them before they acted, I could see trough them, I could feel them and wanted to stab them, all of it was in slow motion to my eyes, and yet, I wanted nothing but to hurt them bad in order to end their unlearned suffering.

(Was I truly mistaken?)


All of the thoughts corroded my mind but I only watched as they hurt each other, I had my fun, and at the same time… I wanted nothing from them but to stay away. I realized my own perfection, the wrong perfection, but still perfection against their own. I was God at the end of the day.

(How naive)

 I couldn’t help but hurt them, I wanted more but they couldn’t, I wanted perfection, but perfection was not in their hands or in me by kneeling to them, so I started to hurt them until I got tired of the games.

 (Then I realized perfection)

 I sat down on a corner of the world where I was silent and silence was my friend, where the light slipped trough but didn’t touch me, where I knew nothing from them but the darkness embrace. And so I finally recalled the numbers, the places and the times I spent, I recalled the lovers, the people and all of the games, perfection was something, but at the same time… we never ever really cared.

(And so I wasn’t surprised)

I remember the times when we were so small and insignificants with our thoughts of a perfect world as we were growing in a peaceful and careless way. Black and white were only colors and not the opposite sides on the same coin lost at the middle of the air. And on the way down to reach perfection… I found myself and lost again.

(…)

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